I Hope They Call Me On A Mission

Well, they called me! The application process took several months longer than I thought it would but, about six weeks ago, I finally opened that special packet. Colorado Denver South mission it was. My reaction was basically, "Oh. Yeah that make's sense." Six weeks was a fairly quick turn around but I've been wanting to go for months now so it was the perfect time. Not too soon, not too late.

Preparing has been exciting and occasionally stressful. My farewell talk was well attended but it was right up until the morning of that I finished writing it. I didn't love how it turned out but it was pretty good I guess. You can read it here.

I have had to learn how to use makeup. Up until about two weeks ago, I had never applied it to any face, including mine. The few times that I've worn makeup was for special occasions and someone else always put it on. It's a work in progress but I've had some great friends who have helped me to get it started. Here's a video of me putting mascara on for the very first time. Like I said, work in progress.

My open house was a lot more fancy than I intended. Me, my mom and another friend just couldn't stop coming up with ideas. I wrote a more detailed post on my food blog. It was basically pinterest perfect. In fact, I put it on pinterest. And that's saying something since I've only been on pinterest maybe 5 times because I don't really like it. Anyway, I'm not sure why I'm telling you that. But yeah, it turned out super cute and I loved it.

It's all been so surreal. This is an event that I've been looking forward to my whole life and now it's here. There's so much hype behind going on a mission but now that I'm here, it just feels normal and right. So yeah, this is my last post for the next 18 months. I plan on emailing weekly updates so if you would like to be on that list, just ask my family for my email. I'm not sure how I'm going to update this blog after a year and a half but I plan on it. See ya soon!

The Last Finish Line

The beginning of this track season was slightly nerve wracking. This was my last shot and I had to make it good. I did the preseason indoor track camp at the JCCC again with the wonderful Coach Chris. He helped me get a good head start on my seasons training. On the last day I decided to do a 1600 time trial. Everyone else chose the 800 so I ran alone. Despite being on an indoor track and having no competition, I made it under 6:30. Not as fast as I wanted but it still gave me hope. I just had a feeling I'd finally break 6 this year.

Our first meet of the season was a pretty big one for the team and we had never been to it before so coach decided to only bring the top runners on the team (basically the one's who actually trained during the off season and were in shape) to try it out. It was held mostly at UCM's indoor track but the two longest races were outside.

My 1600 went pretty well with a time of 6:10. My hope rose. Just a couple more meets and I could get my goal, no problem.

I was also in the distance medley which was held inside. Our team was put in the first heat in which we crushed everyone without a problem. We held our breath as we watched the second heat with the faster runners. Much to our dismay, we realized that if we had been in that heat, we could've had some competition and probably at least gotten third. Unfortunately, we only got 4th. But hey, we still got a metal. A cool one at that.

Then came all the other meets. It was mostly a blur with little to remember. I just felt like I was going through the motions and not really having much fun. I wanted this 1600 PR so badly but I never seemed to be able to even break my current PR of 6:04. I came so close but I couldn't seem to push myself those 5 seconds faster.

At one meet, I felt confident and just KNEW I would do it. I pushed until everything in my body ached and screamed for me to stop. I had this. The disappointment as I crossed the line, not even breaking my PR at all was just too much as I broke down in tears. The temptation to give up once and for all was so strong. Who did I think I was? Why did I even care about a silly time?

A couple times I had a really bad race that neared 6:20. What was I doing wrong? I kept going but it had gotten to the point that I expected myself to fail and walked away from each race unsurprised.

Around and around and around the track I went with no luck.

One day I actually broke my PR by a second. But I was too mad to even care.

I also ran the 800 in most meets but I was so focused on the 1600 that I really didn't put much into it and ran some pretty embarrassing times.

I think I ended up PRing at Nationals but didn't even realize it until a few weeks later when I was going through the results. (I say "I think" because I didn't keep a great record last year.) It was a fun race to watch even as a participant because our team took 4th-7th places in a sea of blue.

Then there was the 4x800. A very strong team with rarely any competition.

Meet in and meet out we just kind of jogged it to save our energy for our bigger races where we'd actually have to compete for points.

Somehow our team broke the team record when we ended up with a contesting team. Exciting, but I honestly didn't care or really notice. This wasn't what I was looking for.

Through the continual disappointment, I had great teammates who let me cry on their shoulder and vent my frustration to.

We also ate a lot of food together. Snacks are highly vital as a runner.

Nationals weekend came. I didn't know what to expect but I wasn't expecting a whole lot. I didn't go down on Friday night because I wanted to go to prom so I missed my brothers big 3200 PR. That was disappointing. My coach had replaced me with another girl in the 4x800 because she had been running better 800 times all season. I honestly didn't care that much because I was able to sleep in a little longer that morning.
When I got there, the heat was already rising. Running well in heat rarely works for me. I gritted my teeth. I couldn't afford to think that way today. We spent most of our time hanging out in the student center of the college we were running at. Staying rested and out of the sun was wonderful. I ran my first race of the day, the 800, several hours later. That went surprisingly well which added a drop to my confidence. Then I went back to the student center and relaxed some more.
The next event was the 400 which I hadn't raced all year. I went to check myself into the race as big, angry storm clouds began to roll in. I was getting kind of excited to try this race out again after a long time when drops of rain began to drip from the sky. The drip became a drizzle which quickly became a downpour. The meet came to a halt as everyone scrambled to grab their things and head for cover. I huddled with some of my friends and family under the bleachers for what seemed ages. I kicked the gravel angrily. Is this how my last meet was supposed to end? Why? Why? Why?
Finally there was a break in the clouds and people began to cautiously come out of hiding. The meet officials announced that the meet would continue but all hurdling events would be canceled. Well, there went the steeplechase which I was looking forward to trying. This also meant the the meet would be a bit shorter which made me have to make a decision. Should I scratch the 400 to save my energy for the 1600? I tossed the options back and forth for awhile. I scouted out my competition and decided that I really didn't have much of a chance to get points so it was probably a better idea to save it. I went and scratched myself out of the 400, praying that I had made the right decision. Well, I was down to half as many events as I had started with. I HAD to make this good.
I lined up for the 1600 feeling good. I knew what I had to do. Staying with Emily is what would get me there. "I am totally capable," I told myself. I rounded the first lap right on pace. Emily began to pull away and I dug in. I drafted her and pulled myself back to her side when I began falling back. The third lap is always the hardest part of the race and I knew my legs and lungs were about to reach their top screaming point. My mom's cheering and the thought of this being my last race was what got me through that lap. This had to happen or else I'd never forgive myself. The last lap I felt like I was flying. I could feel the speed pouring into my legs. I was side by side with Emily now. One last burst of energy pulled me past her as I flew down the last straight across the finish line. I glanced down at my watch and nearly screamed. For the next half hour my face was stuck in a dazed, surprised look and my breathing didn't go back down to normal. I had done it! Barely, but the first digit of the time was a 5 and that's all I cared about.

I left that meet revived and thoroughly happy that I had ended this chapter of my life so well.

The Lions will always be my second family. They make up a powerful team on and off the track. The 6 other Seniors I ran with this year are some amazing people and will be serious forces for good as they go out into the world and make a difference in many more lives.

As for me, I plan to put my serious running on hold for now. But I certainly plan on getting back into it when I start college.

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If you would like to see all of my posts about track and cross country, here is a "playlist", if you will, of all of them.

thisismyrealife.blogspot.com/search/label/Running

A Bad Race Does Not Define You

A Bad Race Does Not Define You

That's what I had to tell myself all season. I came back from Philmont thinking I was in decent shape. Physically, yes, I was. Mentally, something had broken. I'll break the news now: I never came within a minute of my PR. Each race I started with a new hope only to be crushed by disappointment as I crossed the finish line. But I did start making progress half way through the season. It was probably when my coach confirmed my suspicion. My body wasn't the problem. It was my mind that had given up. Before this one particular race, he came up to me, tapped my head and said, "Its all up here. Quit telling yourself that you're not fast and just go for it." Although I never fully recovered from my "mental breakdown", I had better races from then on.

I was asked to be the team captain this season which mostly involved me making sure all the girls knew the course and were warmed up before races which I wasn't great at because I always seemed to forget the stretches.

Oh, but we all had fun nonetheless.

At one of the first meets, the boys placed 1st and the girls placed 2nd. Cool plaques are cool, right?

I suppose you don't need a meet-to-meet report. Running is just running to people who aren't into that kind of thing. So here are pictures that I actually look good in for the most part.

One meet was cold and rainy. I was freezing up until I went up to the finish line. At that point, I guess I was past the point of freezing and went numb. The beginning of the race was straight into the wind and rain so I could hardly see but as I settled into my pace, I zoned everything out. I just had to finish this one. Cold water drenched me and mud seeped into my shoes. It was the worst time I had got since my first cross country season but you don't feel like a hardcore runner until you've raced in pouring rain.

Medals aren't everything but it's still something to work towards. There were many races where my goal was simply to finish in a metaling position and that's the only thing that kept me going.

The last meet was spent in Springfield as usual and this year it was over Halloween. I didn't mind tho because we all spent the evening in a hotel lobby as a team which is better than trick-or-treating in my opinion. That night I got pretty sick and didn't want to run the next day. I don't know what it is about feeling crappy but I had a pretty good race. It wiped me out tho and I was lethargic the rest of the day.

I did the CCCNYC nationals again this year. This time it was in Nashville. The trip felt a lot longer and more tiring than last year. I didn't know how well I'd fare in the race. Well, I didn't PR this year but I still had a strong race despite the course being long (this was confirmed by multiple GPS watches).
*grumbles about people being sloppy when measuring the course*
The interesting thing about it was that the course was around a horse track and the surrounding land. Pretty flat with some sharp hills here and there.

The race finished with a steep down hill and then a gradual uphill. I tore down that hill while passing several people. Then on the uphill I gave it all I got and passed a couple more. I stumbled over the finish line and immediately felt like I was going to puke. I continued to gag for a few more minutes as I caught my breath. This was new. I'd never run hard enough to do that. Nothing came up but I was pretty proud of myself for pushing myself that hard. Still, no PRing time.

And finally, even tho it's not officially part of the season, the Thanksgiving 5k has become a fun way to end the year. Each year we've had cross country friends come join us in running this fun race. I was happy to have my teammate, Emily, run with me the whole way even tho she beat me by a couple seconds at the end. Last year I placed third in my age group but the competition was upped this year so I placed tenth despite cutting a couple seconds off my 2013 time.

That's all folks. This concludes my high school cross country career. It was short and had a lot of ups and downs. But it was a great experience with great people. Road races will probably be something I'll be doing until the day that I can't walk. There still is one more season of high school track so I'm hoping for the best there. And maybe, just maybe, I'll run in college.