Rest in Peace, My Childhood

Growing up for me has been a rough concept. I don't want to leave the comforts of my childhood but I also don't want to look needy. I've shed more than a couple tears over this dilemma and pretty much everything that has to do with adulthood. Thursday night, with less than an hour until my 18th birthday, I wrote this poem-like piece. As I wrote it, I found myself coming more and more at peace with my situation. As I went back and read what I had wrote, I hardly edited it. Very uncharacteristic of me. I couldn't believe that I had just written it. I posted it on Instagram right at midnight but I thought I'd share it here too. Maybe year's from now, I'll look back, read it again and think its stupid but it's what got me through my 18th birthday, which I had been dreading for over a year. So here it is with a bonus of a slideshow for fun.


 https://picasaweb.google.com/100916094605592356933/18Years?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCPPu8o6a_s2f0wE&feat=directlink

Rest in peace, my dear Childhood. You have served me well. So many happy memories of which many I could tell. Adulthood seemed so novel when I was young. Now it's daunting and scary as it drags me along without a choice. I don't want to go there.
 Please take me back, my Childhood. I didn't appreciate you near enough. It was easy back then. There wasn't stress or a to-do list that stretched longer than I will live. Money wasn't a necessity but simply a toy and work was just chores around the house. Time came in great abundance and I could read silly fiction for hours. Schooling was simple and fun. Why did no one tell me that all of that would change so fast? To treasure it, to make it last? 

Take me back, my beautiful childhood. I had no idea how much you spoiled me until recently. Now you lay down still, leaving me in the hands of this stranger named Adulthood. Are you sure I'm safe with it? How can I be sure? Oh please, talk to me just once more! 

But wait, is that a heartbeat I hear? Is there life still left in you? Yes, come back! Your eyes open, just a crack. I grab your hand. You speak softly so only I can hear as you whisper in my ear. "Be strong, young woman. Take your memories with you and keep me in your heart, for this is just the start. Though I may be gone, my spirit will stay with you. Adulthood will lead you down many paths that I could never find. So many new opportunities that I could never give you. It's time to move on, now let me go. You have a new path to follow. Just don't forget me and you'll be fine. I love you, dear Child of mine."

My Childhood, you draw your last breath at midnight. A tear or two fall from my eyes as you slip away. I draw a shaky breath and gently rest your hand by your side. I stand and slowly face Adulthood. It's looks at me and smiles. Something is different. I realized I can become friends with it. Maybe it's not such a bad thing after all. 

My childhood, you will be greatly missed. I will now rely on Adulthood to carry me through the rest of my life. Rest in peace, my Childhood. Your resting place is in my heart where you will never be forgotten.